A time comes in your life when you finally get it...When in the midst of all your fears
and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries
out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you
begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over
the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming
and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale
endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled
to their own views and opinions.)
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not
everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave;
how you should look and how much you should weigh; what you should wear and where you
should shop; and what you should drive how and where you should live; and what you should
do for a living; who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you should expect
of a marriage; the importance of having and raising children; or what you owe your parents.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in
creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer"
looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of
a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build
a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and
that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs
get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How
to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn
not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will
not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on
your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love...and you learn that
you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...
And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size
5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and
agonizing over how you "stack up."
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity
and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who
cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...and in the process you internalize the
meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and
treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking
more time to exercise.
You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take
more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you
take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve ... and
that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something
to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline
and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk
asking for help.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending
doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you
deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing
you or failing to answer your prayers.
It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state-the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood
and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that
surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of
walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for
granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full
refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and to make yourself
a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's
desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every
wonderful possibility. Finally, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the
life you want to live as best as you can