why couples dont have sex.. funny shit lmao
>Dear Wife,
> >During the past year I have tried to make love to
you 365 times.
> >I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of
once every ten
> >days.
> >The following is a list of why I did not succeed
more often:
> >
> >54 times the sheets were clean
> >17 times it was too late
> >49 times you were too tired
> >20 times it was too hot
> >15 times you pretended to be sleep
> >22 times you had a headache
> >17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
> >16 times you said you were too sore
> >12 times it was the wrong time of the month
> >19 times you had to get up early
> >9 times you said weren't in the mood
> >7 times you were sunburned
> >6 times you were watching the late show
> >5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
> >3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
> >9 times you said your father would hear us
> >
> >Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not
satisfactory
> >because:
> >
> >6 times you just laid there
> >8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the
ceiling
> >4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over
with
> >7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
> >1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt
you move
> >
> >KEEP READING.......
> >
>
>=====================================================
> >
> >
> >TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
> >
> >I think you have things a little confused. Here are
the reasons you
> >didn't
> >get more than you did:
> >
> >5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the
dog
> >36 times you did not come home until two
> >21 times you didn't come with energy
> >33 times you came too soon
> >19 times you went soft before you got in
> >38 times you worked too late
> >10 times you got cramps in your legs
> >29 times you had to get up early and go fishing
> >2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you
in the balls
> >4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
> >3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
> >2 times you had a splinter in your finger
> >20 times you lost the motion after thinking about
it all day
> >6 times you came in your pajamas while watching a
dirty movie
> >98 times you were too busy watching TV
> >
> >Of the times we did get together:
> >
> >The reason I laid still was because you missed and
were screwing the
> >sheets.
> >
> >I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling,
what I said was,
> >"Would you
> >prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
> >
> >The time you felt me move was because you farted
and I was trying to
> >breathe.
> >
> >
> >So here are the rules:
> >
> >If you read this on a Sunday, wish for a good week
> >If you read this on a Monday, wish for money
> >If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for love
> >If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for success
> >If you read this on a Thursday, wish for anything
you want
> >If you read this on a Friday, wish for a really hot
date
> >If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an
important phone call
> >repost and title it : why couples dont have sex.. funny shit