Here we go:
If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.
If you didn't like that, then here:
A friend is a person who does his knocking before he enters instead of after he leaves.
Now, some beautiful poetry:
There once was a lady from Arden
Who sucked off a man in a garden
He said, "My dear Flo,
Where does it go?"
And she said, "(swallowing hard)I Beg your pardon?"
And here's a corny joke for you to part with:
She was a lovely girl. Our courtship was fast and furious - I was fast and she was furious.
ok ok one more joke:
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
That's it for today. Take a bite, chew, and swallow.