IsLaNdGiRl x TRC x FuCrush me PLZ's blog: "RATE CLUB"

Well - I just got back from a weekend out of town. My friend killed himself last week and it sent me into a tailspin. I needed to be alone and cry and think about my life. I got a hotel room and holed up in there. Yesterday I went to get my bellbutton repierced but got there at 3 which was too late. So I went to a mexican restaurant I use to go to ages ago (adore their brown sauce). Sat at the table alone and let the tears fall - the place was empty. Got 64 oz of frozen daiquiris -- some cigars and went back to the pool-side area and talked with friends around the country. That did so much good. Got pretty trashed last night and fought all night on the phone with my spouse -- so much for relaxing. I feel a little bit relaxed today - I'm home and the house is empty. I was accused of some horrible things --- and I just don't care. I was there alone - I rented the room alone - I paid for the room alone. I was there to try and get my head together. And those who think I WENT WITH SOMEONE to the hotel can kiss my lily white ass. I mean it -- people who think of me in a certain way have NO clue what my life is like. But.... I'm glad I woke up this morning. That always makes a good start to the day. On the way out of town I went by this morning to my old doctors office (he's still there after Katrina - bless his soul) - and to places I applied for jobs and where my old job was. Brought back some good memories -- it was a good trip overall.