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In the beginning, our relationship was a good one. He was romantic, to an extent. Cooking dinners for me, going to the beach, concerts, etc. We made love, we didn't fuck. He took me to my senior Prom; I had the oldest date there at 28 (he was 10 1/2 years older than I was.) It was on the Queen Mary in Long Beach, and was such a beautiful evening. He gave me a beautiful promise ring on deck. His sister was my "prom mom", since my mother was still not talking to me LOL BUT, my mother bought me a pink gown to wear to the prom; Randy had bought me a black dance dress to wear to prom. So there was a compromise: wore the pink to prom, and the black under my graduation gown, and to Disneyland for Grad Night that evening.
Speaking of graduation, I barely graduated with a 1/2 credit to spare, thanks to the upheaval. But I was able to walk onto the field with my classmates. Randy was in one section of the bleachers out on the football field, and my parents, paternal grandmother, and aunt and step-uncle were in another section. We spoke briefly, my parents gave me a card, along with my grandmother, and then we parted. It slooooowly was starting to heal, but would never fully happen.
We lived in the studio apartment until 1991. He received a job offer from his sister's boyfriend in the Bay Area at a machinist. I was in between jobs, and we had just become engaged (he thought it was expected from us, so he dragged me to Montgomery Ward and got the cheapest engagement ring and put it on my finger in the parking lot without a word.) We had decided to get married at Wayfarer's Chapel in Rancho Palos Verdes in Southern California. So, our wedding preparations would be done long distance. We moved in May 1991 to the San Jose area.
I found a job at Longs Drugs, where I started as a clerk, and worked my way to bookkeeping and POS coordination. Randy worked at the machine shop during this time. We started in a GORGEOUS one bedroom apartment that I loved so much. Wedding plans were done by phone calls, mail, and fax. I approved maid of honor dressed, decorations, etc. I would drive down for dress fittings and invitation addressing. Mom and Dad were resigned to my marriage, they weren't happy about it. Randy's family was ecstatic about it, and thought I was terrific.
The day of the wedding, everything went off without a hitch, for the most part. Randy and his family showed up to the chapel stoned and/or a little inebriated. I had one glass of champagne in the limo from the salon to the chapel, but nothing like they did. His sisters both wore BRIGHT colored outfits, and seemed to be in competition for getting the most attention away from me LOL
We spent two days in town to visit with family after the wedding, and the day we left officially for our honeymoon, we first went to Disneyland with ny family before departing. It was such a fun day, it was the last time I saw my grandfather alive, and I will always remember it. When we left, we were going to drive to Arizona to see his maternal grandparents since they were too old to come out for the wedding, and then head on to Vegas for a few days before going back to the Bay Area. My mom told me later that she called her best friend and said, "I'm never going to see Nikki again, am I?" She knew what Randy was capable of, but I was blind to it completely.
When we got on the freeway, he was driving, and I mentioned to him that we needed to head toward a certain freeway, and he became unglued on me. I had never seen him like this before. He yelled he knew what he was doing, and I just needed to shut up and let him drive. it felt like the day at Disneyland was a chore to him, and now we were driving at night, which was such a chore for him. It was HIS idea to do it!
Anyway, I "shut up", and just closed my eyes, my chest felt like a rock, I was so nervous. I had never had anyone yell at me that way except for Mom right before I left home. It was our first fight, and I didn't know it then, but it would be a common thing from that point on in my life, and my marriage. Things were going to be different from now on, and I wouldn't see it coming until it was almost too late.
