He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot steak and eggs breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home about 3 A.M., blind stinking drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Marty asks, "So, why did Mom put everything in order and so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?" His son replied, "Oh that! Mom and I dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone! I'm a happily married man!"
Self-induced hangover - $70.00Broken furniture - $250.00-Breakfast - $10.00