It really sucks reflecting on your past and where you are today. I keep sitting here thinking that I will be turning 39 next week and where I am in my life. I don't like it. I used to be the one that could go out and generally get anything that I wanted done. Now I have severe anxiety just going to the fucking store. Hell at this age I should be saving for retirement, not trying to get counseling help. I have never been on the edge like this before. I seriously think its the aftermath of my dope days and the reason it is hitting me now is because before when I went clean all I did is work and come home. I didn't associate with anyone in real life. I mean sure I had my online friends and support, but it is just different from having to deal with it in real life. But hell, I dont know if that is the case or not, hell I certainly aint a doctor.
I guess I am really hating that once again on a birthday I feel like a huge zero.