Its a dark day in my household
So I'll be sparse in my fu-time.
I lost my ex-mother-in-law
early this morning.
Many might think that
shouldn't effect me,
But my heart lays heavy
and I'm deeply sadden.
Winifred was a tough as nails
New Yorker, who I had
the utmost respect.
She was legally blind
from an early age,
although she wasn't
totally blind -
Being she was functional
as a sighted person . . .
It never took away from
her ability of "seeing"
people for there strengths
and not their weaknesses.
My two oldest
lost another grandparent,
Which leaves them
with only one now.
(my mother)
As my oldest daughter
called me to inform me -
Brought a flash of painful memories:
About nine years ago,
I was at the hospital . . .
Comforting my mother,
who's husband,
my stepfather &
true mentor . . .
was slipping away from
cancer that night.
Beside me were
my two loving kids
who adored their grandpa
and were truly devastated
with the grief of the
assured death looming -
But also of seeing
their Grandmother
and Father . . .
so torn!
As death is
known to be
unpredictable . . .
I remember just as
the hospice nurse
was taking my mother
into the room
so she could tell
her dying husband
good-bye ...
I was a bit puzzled
to see my ex-wife
and her husband
come into the room
with a grieving look
of concern.
Although my thoughts
were clouded
from the events -
Things cleared
and slowed down
as my children
went to their mother
already crying ...
As she hugged them
for comfort.
I remember her
sigh and then
glance up at me,
tearful and
swallowing hard...
As if in slow motion
I watched her lips
form the sentence:
"You Grandpa DUKE just died"
My knees buckled
And my heart crashed ...
My kids while awaiting
their grandfather to die
(my stepfather)
Just were informed
of their other
Grandfather dying!
(her father)
Truly the single most
devastating day for me.
I watched it unfold,
still as though
in slow motion . . .
both just collapse
and breakdown ...
My ex -
crying her husband -
holding the three for comfort.
Truly was like an
out-of-body experience,
like I was watching
from the corner
of the room . . .
I had so many grievers
plus my own pain -
All pulling at me
from every direction.
*whew*
Sorry-
This was more for
my own self-healing.
So -
I wont be giving
my daily comments.
I leave you
a few of my
gifts I made,
Gifts are a way of telling
people you like them,
enjoy their company or
love them.
Or that you enjoy them
being a part of your
life and you
are happy to share -
Not the shiny thing
that may be wrapped up
in a pretty box with a bow . . .
But sharing TIME,
Sharing a part of life.
I reflect back,
as I wrote this -
to the single
most important thing . . .
-Our life itself-
Hug those people who you love today . . .
I'm sending hugs out to you all.
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