Chris: Hey, we’re having a big problem in the Gulf of Mexico.
God: Yeah, I’ve been watching that.
Chris: Then that Congressional Minority Leader said that the taxpayers should bear the cost of the clean up.
God: John Boehner? He owns a lot of stock in BP.
Chris: And that Senate Candidate, Sharron Angle said that all this was the result of too much government regulation.
God: Don’t worry about her. She’s a nut case.
Chris: But what if she wins the election?
God: Not gonna happen.
Chris: And now the oil companies are turning to Kevin Costner for a solution.
God: Hey, it’s good to have a celebrity on your team.
Chris: But Costner was a Business major at Cal State Fullerton. He doesn’t know shit.
God: I know that.
Chris: So the other oil companies are throwing BP to the wolves.
God: Kind of funny how the big boys all support each other until one of them becomes a convenient sacrifice.
Chris: So how are we going to stop the flow of oil?
God: You remember a couple of years ago when McCain and Palin were saying, “Drill, Baby, Drill”?
Chris: Yeah.
God: And you remember how thousands of people joined in and were chanting and screaming it?
Chris: Yeah, I remember that.
God: Stuff them all down the well and that will plug it up.
Jean: The job is 40 hours a week, Wednesday through Friday 10 to 7, Saturday and Sunday, 9 to 6. You’ll get Monday and Tuesday off. Any problem with those hours or days?
Chris: Anytime, anywhere.
Jean: You’ll be on probation for 90 days. After 90 days we’ll talk about benefits.
Chris: I like benefits.
Jean: The job pays eight-fifty an hour.
Chris: That seems a bit chintzy.
Jean: Monkey job, monkey wages.
Chris: Yeah, I suppose.
Jean: We operate on a very streamline labor pool here and if someone doesn’t show up for work it puts a hardship on the other people.
Chris: So I have to show up for work?
Jean: Yes.
Chris: And be on time?
Jean: Yes.
Chris: Let me get back to you on that.
Jean: What would your last employer say about your performance?
Chris: He’d tell you that I was a piece of garbage.
Jean: Why would he say that?
Chris: He had a long list of reasons.
Jean: Any of them valid?
Chris: Maybe the one where he accused me of racism because I had the audacity to hire a white woman instead of a tribal member for a cashier position.
Jean: So what are your strong points?
Chris: I can dead-lift four hundred pounds.
Jean: And what are your shortcomings?
Chris: You should ask my wife. She could give you a long list.
Jean: If hired, how long do you plan to stay with us?
Chris: Until you get mad at me or I get mad at you.
Jean: What are your goals?
Chris: I just want to see the sunrise tomorrow.
Jean: Thanks for coming in today, Chris. I have a few other candidates to interview before a decision is made.
Chris: Yeah, I need to run this one by my spiritual advisor.