1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some
days you're the statue.
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case
you have to eat them.
3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if
you die in the middle of it.
4. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their Maker.
5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to
be vague.
6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.
7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others.
8. Never buy a car you can't push.
9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up
and dance.
11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the
bird, sleep late.
12. The second mouse gets the cheese.
13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane.
14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the
longer you live.
15. You may be only one person in the world, but you
may also be the world to one person.
16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp,
some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird
names and all are different colors, but they all have
to live in the same box.
18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the
scenery on a detour.