Two aliens landed in the
Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night.
They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger
alien addressed
it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated
his greeting. Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's
haughty attitude, he drew
his ray gun and said impatiently,
'Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to
your leader or I will fire!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying,
'You probably don't want to do that!
I really don't think you should make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien.
He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire.
There was a huge explosion. A massive
fireball roared towards
them and blew the younger alien off his feet and
deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about
200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed.. When he finally regained
consciousness, he refocused his three eyes,
straightened his bent antenna, and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was
standing over him shaking his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the
young, fried alien. 'He damn
near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler
on his crispy friend and replied,
'If there's one thing I've
learned during my intergalactic travels,
"you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop
his penis over his
shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'