An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out,
"Crisco,
Crisssssssco!"
Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady,the
Crisco is in
aisle D."
The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the
cooking stuff.
I'm calling my husband."
The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is
Crisco?"
The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him
that when
we're out in public."
"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at
home?"
"Lard ass."