I really love this one. That is what I call anger management at
>> its best.
>> When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just
>> need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you
>> know, take it out on someone you don't know.
>>
>> I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
>> forgotten
>> to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered,
>> saying
>> "Hello."
>> I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with
>> Robyn Carter?"
>> Suddenly a maniac voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right
>> damn number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't
>> believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's
>> correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
>> transposed the last two digits.
>>
>> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong'
>> number again.
>> When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an
>> asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word
>> 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
>> weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him
>> up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
>> When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
>> 'asshole' calling would have to stop.
>>
>> So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith
>> from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar
>> with our Caller ID Program?"
>> He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called
>> him back
>> and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.
>>
>> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a
>> parking Spot.
>> Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I
>> had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been
>> waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.
>> I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote
>> down his number.
>> A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole
>> (I had
>> his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the
>> BMW asshole, too.
>> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>> He said, "Yes, it is."
>> I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>> He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a
>> yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
>> I asked, "What's your name?"
>> He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
>> I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>> He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
>> I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>> He said, "Yes?"
>> I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
>>
>> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
>> Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
>>
>> Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole ..1.
>> He said, "Hello."
>> I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
>> He asked, "Are you still there?"
>> I said, "Yeah,"
>> He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
>> I said, "Make me,"
>> He asked, "Who are you?"
>> I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
>> He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
>> I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a
>> yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
>> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better
>> start saying your prayers."
>> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
>>
>> Then I called Asshole ..2.
>> He said, "Hello?"
>> I said, "Hello, asshole,"
>> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>> I said, "You'll what?"
>> He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
>> I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming
>> over right now."
>>
>> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that
>> I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over
>> there to kill my gay lover.
>> Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in
>> Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
>>
>> I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got
>> there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each
>> other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and
>> surrounded by a news crew.
>>
>> NOW I feel much better.
>>
>> Anger management really does work.