Abusive guys like to prey on women who are depressed, alone, insecure, and looking for a man to cling to. They put on their best Prince Charming act in the beginning, convincing her that she finally has a man who loves, respects, and values her. Once she's emotionally attached, after falling for his lies and manipulation, he slowly starts showing his true colors. He starts verbally attacking her deepest insecurities. "You're ugly, stupid, annoying," etc... Then once he knows he's gone too far and she's about to leave (or fight back), he'll apologize, put the "gentleman mask" back on for a little while, build up her self esteem, just to tear it down again. Once he gets away with verbal abuse, then he starts hitting, smacks upside the head, punching in the arms and legs (areas that can easily be covered up). Again, backs down when she's about to leave or fight back, apologizes, and give her a little bit of the romance that was there in the beginning. By then, her man's acting like he's got split personality disorder, and she's confused as to which person is the real him. In her mind she's questioning... Is he an asshole pretending to be a gentleman, and I'm a dumb bitch getting played? Or is he a good dude with serious anger issues, and I just need to be stronger for him? Maybe he needs more love, patience, understanding, and tolerance of his outbursts, and that will heal/change him? I've been that girl. It's hard to leave, because those little moments of love and romance between the abuse is everything. Leaving means going back to being alone. That's what's going on with most abused women.