Cowboy's blog: "me"

its weird to think about life where you are vs where you just came from where you want to go who will i be who will i love who will love me but the questions that should excite life kills mine each day that your not here you don't get to chose who you love nor can you make them love you and the pain one must endure is unforgetable the pain you left in me the empty space i had nothing but love for you and you threw me away like i was nothing and even still is my love there every part of me hurts but i must not let anyone see that for id be considered weak i will never forget you and our special moments how dear they are to me but i will lock them up inside so tight i won't be able to get to them and maybe i won't think about you every day and maybe ill hurt a lil less maybe ill learn to live again no matter how much you love someone it is never enough to make them stay if they have other plans in mind like to cheat and rip out your heart then they will and you have no control over that just pick up your head put on your hat and go back to drifting drift on and never look back for if you did you would not survive the heart ach no keep drifting till you reach a new town new state of mind but don't stop to long for you become comfortable allowing it to happen again or maybe your so jaded that you will push everyone and everything away the best thing is to keep riding for that sunset get to know yourself maybe become friends again soothe the pain mend the fences and maybe make something good of yourself

the end of a lifetime of memories or so it seems i can only hold onto our happy dreams my heart achs with saddness but tears i won't cry i am the rock for others how can i go on being strong when it hurts so bad a deep cut will soothe it i feel less mad If i am a rock and you crush me with goodbye than what type of rock am i sandstone brittle and corse it cumbles to dirt so this is goodbye forever my lase and now i am alone if you ever need to find me ill be cowering in my empty dark soul

a empty bottle a weathered soul im just another pirate without rum or gold i sail away and leave the shore for a dream i can't hold back anymore a dream of riches serinety and life but the dream is gone as well as my life im just another pirate without rum or gold

Its 3 in the moring Still awake Black light shinning I took a taste Heart starts to race Now its 4 I take my last drag Toss it out I lick the bag I turn out the light Lay down to die But it never comes Its 8 o'clock

Pain like a bleading wound a broken heart a gash that splits the flesh for the world to see it comes in many forms but the hurt is all the same sometimes you put them there other times they are forced upon you and life has no pitty. but in time you become hard the torn flesh mends itself and a scar where a once deep cut had lie has healed but still, it remains for the world to see then you pick up your life and do what you have done so many times before move along with your held held high cause you know deep inside no matter how bad you still hurt you have two options and your stubborn self won't let the devil take win your soul he must not win because you know deep inside that will be one scar that will never hearl

the fury builds as i see you with him the fire for you still burns And my heart is all that fuels it but as each day goes on it turns to ash the wind blows it a little more away the only way i can surpress this feeling is to drink it douces the fire but the flame burns ever true if i knew it would be this hard i wouldn't have fallen for you the memories fill my head everyday making the pain more bitter i long to hate you for what you have done but it makes me sick I can't unlove you and i can't forget you but each day i still try Everyday that you don't come home kills my soul

i love the way you fit in my arms or the way i make you smile i love the fact that your always there to listen in times of trials i love your charm and beauty your smell, soft lips, and your hair i love how much i love you even tho im not there i love the way you make me nervous i say the wrong thing and i trip i wish i had lots of money to take you sail round the world on a ship i love how my heart skips when ever your on the phone i still think of you everytime i put in that cd deftones there are so many times i should have told you how i really felt inside and then maybe things would have been different but these feelings i can not hide you mean the world to me babe

starts with joy then turns dark let them in then they leave their mark why try so hard to let them in when you know what happens in the end a time bomb of emotional fury makes any man start to worry the whys and hows and what's goin ons you've never felt more like a pawn but i do got some comfort i got some gyn im learning to not feel all over again it will leave me callaused it will make me hard but in the end it will all begin again

she was a breath of fresh air a warm summers breeze on a lazy day a fire fly in the evening she was as beautiful as a poem that touches deep into your soul a picture of grace a poise But now the air is stale and dry it freezez the soul and kills all that a dreamer had hoped for a dreamer who loves her still

Time trys the soul Love breaks it Lust burdens it God saves it Hard to speak whats on the mind And who can you really tell Fear not for your secret is safe Inside your soul it will dwell But the weight and the burden will break you You might think you can hold up the world Share that weight with god Turn your sand into a pearl